There was such hope in our hearts at the 2013 Oscars. Halle Berry turned up in a dress of such Versace magnificence that we thought for a minute that she had heard our cries. We were fooled into thinking that after the great Golden Globes dress disaster she had finally realised that letting it all hang out was a mistake and it was time to move on. But no. Not even the overwhelmingly positive response to her Oscars dress could stop her getting right back onto the Sharon Stone Express and heading off to the land of age-and-dignity-denial. Just look at this Reem Acra dress she is wearing. Boobs literally out. Split up AND down the front. What's the point of wearing a dress? I give up.