If you look really closely, you can't tell if this flash under Jessica Biel's pleated mini dress is really a pair of Spanx or the top of a pair of tights or possibly an intentional flash of boy shorts. Which ever way it pans out, let it be said that this is about as interesting as this chick has ever been to me. That she could flash her knickers in any form makes her infinitely less boring. Which only goes to prove how boring I usually find her. This image was caught as a gust of wind grabbed her while shooting some kind of TV show about designers in Paris. It's all a bit confusing as she is wearing a mask. Or is she?

Whatever. She was later photographed on the streets of Paris yesterday dressed head to foot in Isabel Marant. If this isn't a joke, I am going to actually get quite angry now. How can anyone — ANYONE — take such amazingly cool pieces and wear them ALL TOGETHER?? I simply don't understand. She looks utterly ridiculous in some of the most awesome clothing in the world. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? Help!

Silly, silly Jessica Biel. If I wasn't already, I am now over her. I would kill for any one of these individual pieces and would be grateful. I wouldn't be a total idiot and ruin them by putting them all together in a riot of studs that makes your eyes hurt. Idiot. Cross. Thanks.