There is a part of me that just wants to leave it alone. And by 'it' I mean Lena Dunham's style. I want to just let her express herself like a small child — after all it harms no one. And yet I can't. Because it harms me and my pejorative sensibilities. I can't help it. I just want her to look nice. I know that is placing bourgeois constraints on a preternaturally talented hipster. But that's just how I roll. Now stop looking at me like that.

And so I must ask, "what is this Lena?" "Why didn't you buy a dress — or borrow one — that actually fits you?" And I must go on, "did you forget the trousers?" Yes, this is just too short, too tight, too ill-fitting to wear in public. It is a pretty print. I'll give you that. But it DOESN'T FIT YOU. Now go and get something that does. For goodness sake. Thank you.