I am told that Gwyneth Paltrow is the cover star of the January 2013 issue of UK InStyle. I have actually held this magazine in my hands and gazed at the cover and the inside spread. I received an early subscription issue so I really have seen this with my own eyes. And yet, I still don't really believe that it is Gwyneth. A latex robotic effigy of her perhaps. But not a real human. Surely? That rictus of a smile. What is that? It's freaking me out, man.

Inside Gwynnie talks about how challenging it is to be married to Chris Martin. Whilst subtly placing all the blame on him and skipping happily over the very obvious annoyance that is her personality. Which we all know about due to her incessant out-of-touch wittering in her Goop! newsletter.

She also talks about her roles, balancing work and motherhood (apparently you can't have it all, even when you have all the money in the world — no matter if you HAVE to work and raise kids, that's not relevant in the land of Paltrow.) Sheesh. This magazine fluff piece has not helped matters AT ALL. She does not come off well. Not in the images, nor in the copy. Oh dear. Funny.
PS: The cover coat is Jil Sander, the pink beaded number is Atelier Versace and the dark sheath is Armani Prive. Just FYI. Know your stuff.