This headline is a misnomer. They aren't confused — I am. I feel like I must love these dresses but I don't. I don't hate them. I just don't love them. But I feel pressure that I should. The 2014 Golden Globes Red Carpet was very busy. And there were some shockers. These were not them. They didn't even disappoint me. I am just confused. Let me explain. Zooey Deschanel looks lovely of course in her Oscar de la Renta princess outfit. But those shoes just make my skin crawl — why are they so MATCHY? And what's with the hair flower, sister? You are not twelve, so stop it. And I went back and forth on Sarah Hyland's pretty Georges Hobeika pink dress. And then realised that it could have been stunning with some lip colour and if the skirt had looked less 'meshy' and more silky. You know? And of COURSE Jessica Chastain looks amazing in Givenchy. But. Um. What's new? Well the strident hair colour, but I love that. The rest is just fine. Even if I feel I am supposed to say it is amazing. Which it isn't. OK. Glad we had this chat. Carry on. As you were.