Look, there weren't any swan dresses on the 2013 Oscars Red Carpet this year. More's the pity. There was nothing completely terrible. Except possibly Melissa McCarthy's David Meister grey sack. And also maybe Renee Zellweger's too-tight Carolina Herrera tin foil number. Awful. But not a swan.

Jane Fonda — who is unutterably awesome in every other way — was too garish in yellow Versace last night. And Kelly Rowland tried way too hard in too-graphic Donna Karan black and white. But it wasn't dreadful, just not to my taste or sensibilities.

Even the horrendous crumpled mess of a dress on Helen Hunt, was off-set by the fact that it was one of H&M's eco dresses, so you can't be mean. And Reese Witherspoon's hair was so pretty it made me almost forgive the blue Louis Vuitton dress that she wore. The dress is lovely, but really didn't suit her and was (like Kelly Rowland) too graphic in a year when soft prettiness was the style order of the day.
So the worst dressed weren't very badly dressed. And I missed that. Carry on. Till next year!