In the annual September issue wars, it is inevitable that someone is going to snag singer, dancer, actress Jennifer Lopez. Mostly because she is utterly awesome. But I would have expected the images to have been just a tad more, um, dramatic. You know?

I mean on the cover she is wearing Givenchy. Almost always a bit edgy. And inside she is wearing a leather Ferregamo skirt in one image and a leather bloody cape by Valentino in another. A cape I tell ya. And yet it all still seems safe.

Yes, I have just referred to an outfit comprising a leather cape and a see-through lace bodysuit (Dolce & Gabbana of course) as safe. But it is for our J-Lo. It is tame and pretty and will never offend the conservative middle of America at which it is aimed. But for me, it's a pass. I don't like it. And I can't believe I am saying that about a Jennifer Lopez editorial. Soz 'n chips.