Dear Diane Kruger,
I have been very patient with you. Mostly because you are very beautiful and elegant and generally seem like a cool person. And also because you have the most amazing style and are able to wear things like this extraordinary Valentino dress on red carpets. However, I believe that my patience may be about to run out.

Gregorio Binuya/Everett Collection

I realise now that your wardrobe is not mine. As much as I would like it to be. I would never look great in Chanel. Although I would give the more edgy designers a good go. But I must insist that Pacey Witter is my husband and not yours. I know you dress him very nicely, in his Joshua Jackson persona. Like in this Louis Vuitton suit. But so would I. And I would ensure his trousers fitted him properly. That's just how I roll. Additionally I would be so much more fun than you. It really is time to give him up now. Can we please agree on this?

And now I really must draw the line at stealing my hair-do. It's one thing to date one's soul mate. It's quite another to steal my signature hair. Let it go. You can't be me. Give it up now and move on.
Thank you.
Sincerely
StyleGuideCT xxx